onsdag 6 maj 2009

Stuff Swedish People Like: Bicycling to work



Swedes who ride their bicycles to work consider themself a better, more noble breed of Swedes. Not only do they excercise when transporting themselves to work, they also decrease global warming and are saving a few polar bears simultaneously. Bike-commuting Swedes also get to splash out on cool GoreTex-insulated sportswear, earning them an adventurers status. They visualise themselves as one of those people in The North Face ads, climbing an ice fall at 7000 meters in Peru.

There are different styles among the bike commuters. We have the old school rider, who uses a sturdy old iron horse inherited from the grandparents. This person will ride slowly in an upright position, and seldom wears a helmet, because back in the day, no one did on these bikes. If it's a guy, he might be smoking a pipe while riding, and prefers to ride with his office clothes on. The main reason to ride is because of the nostalgic feeling of life in the '60's. This person won't get sweaty, and no excercise either.

Then there is the Tour de France-rider, who is in a tight Lycra bicycle outfit, carrying a large back pack containing work clothes and a lap top. This person is totally stressed out, since he keeps track of the time, and needs to improve every day. The speed racer has seen too many sports movies about old pushovers who start training, and become overnight athletic sensations, and thinks this is a probable scenario that applies to anyone. This person is drenched in sweat, and must shower at work.

Another style is the anti-fashion rider, who will ride in a neon Styrofoam half eggshell-styled helmet, matching overalls, and a beat up bike from the 80's. This person will annoy the speed racer incredibly, and will in turn be agitated at the old school rider for blocking his lane. The main reason for the anti-fashion rider to commute is to save money. Will end up sweaty at the office, but goes too slow to have time for a shower.

Of course there are the Williamsburg-hipster types with fixed gear bikes, but we allready got them pinned down, don't we?

If you want to befriend a Swede, ask them how they travel to work. If the Swede is a bicyclist, you can say something like: "Isn't it great to see all these bicyclists riding to work, you can actually feel the ice caps freezing back over!" And the cyclist will think you are on par, and suggest you go and have a latte some day, made out of Fair Trade espresso, and organic milk. If the Swede is not a cyclist, just say: "Have you noticed all these crazy bicyclists in the traffic lately, sometimes you just wanna run one over!" They will think you are fun and tough, and may ask you to go see a soccer- or hockey game.

1 kommentar:

Micke Valier sa...

Jag är farbror nr 1.
Cyklar i kontorsdräkt på gammal cykle. Idag rutig blazer - men med hjälm.

Jag hade en så obehaglig mardröm en natt, där cyklister blev jagade av en ond man som slog dem sönder och samman. Jag tog det som ett tecken att börja bära hjälm.